Seven Truths about Homeschooling

I suspect that many of you have seen the Seven Lies About Homeschooling video floating around lately (if you haven’t, look up “messy mondays: seven lies about homeschooling” on youtube). Having watched it, I was inspired to think of the seven truths about homeschooling…hence this post. It has nothing to do with Jane Austen or the 1800’s, or even with books; just homeschooling. But I’m posting it here anyway, just for fun. J I don’t have the skills needed to make up a hilarious video, but hey, this is the next best thing.

Truth #7 – No snow days. Or minor holidays. That’s right. When you have school at home, you don’t get snow days! If you propose the idea, no one but your siblings will agree with you (important note: this means your parents won’t agree). Your mom will reason that it’s rather pointless to take a snow day since it’s already obvious that you aren’t having trouble getting to school – in fact, you’re already there. Homeschoolers don’t even get minor holidays, like Presidents Day, off school. An exception might be if your dad works at a school, and gets the day off…if you’re lucky, and he stays home, you may get the day off too.

Truth #6 – Everything is a learning opportunity. This comes into play in many instances. For example, let’s say you go shopping. After the cashier gives your mother the total of her purchase and Mom gives her a hundred dollar bill, Mom’ll turn to you and ask you how much change she should get back. If you don’t figure it out before the cashier does…woe is you! Back to extra math cards at home. If you do figure it out, the next store is a different total, and a fifty dollar bill instead. Moms can even turn playing games like Angry Birds into a learning experience – you learn all about things such as physics and the best angle for a long shot.  

Truth #5 – You drive a bus. This one might not be true of all homeschoolers, but many of them. Most homeschoolers at least drive a mini van, and some go for the 15 seaters! You pull up in front of WalMart, and people almost always watch as the kids file out of the van in an orderly (or not so orderly) manner…kid after kid. You can see the watchers counting heads, and marveling that ONE mom can keep ALL THOSE KIDS under control! And once you get old enough to drive, well, in all probability, you don’t get a cute little Mini Cooper or maybe a Bug to drive. Nope, you’re homeschooled, so you learn to drive the family bus! And there’s always a younger sibling who wants to go wherever you happen to be going.

Truth #4 – You’re not with friends 24/7. Well, actually, your mom would probably argue that you are. “But honey! You’re with your brothers and sisters all day! And they’re your best friends, right?” What I mean here is that you don’t go to classes with a whole bunch of friends eight hours a day, before retreating home to talk to them on the phone while texting other friends, and then going shopping with some of them after that. Oh, we have friends, definitely! And we even see them regularly. But we don’t spend most of every day with them.

Truth #3 – Sick days are rare. “You have a cold? Mild bout of the flu? You can still come upstairs right? You can’t walk? Oh dear…well, that’s fine, yes, you can stay in bed all day. We’ll just bring your schoolwork to you. Did you say take the day off of school?!?!? Why in the world would we do that? Because you’re sick? Now that’s no excuse. You can still think, right? And see? And hear? That’s wonderful because it means you can do school. You can’t see? Let me call your little brother down here – he can read you the problems and then you can solve them in your head. Listening hurts your ears? Well…we’ll put in ear-plugs and have him shout. That should at least change the type of sound coming in. You can’t think with the noise? Maybe you really ARE sick…have some herbal tea. Or maybe a little chicken broth?”

Truth #2 – Leftovers for lunch! When you live at home, your mother probably won’t have any problem with feeding you leftovers from the night before for lunch. In fact, that’s probably something you’re going to have all the time. Occasionally, there may an emergency in which there are NO leftovers! Eeek! Look out, this tends to send moms into panic mode. However, calmly propose having something like Ramen noodle soup, or maybe macaroni and cheese. If you’re lucky, she won’t be able to think of something healthy to eat (and she won’t discover any leftovers in the fridge or freezer). This truth may not be true in a big family (as in, 7-10 kids) but in the smaller ones (about 5 kids) this seems to be a daily occurrence.

Truth #1 – You’re weird. Er, make that cool. Be warned ahead of time – public school kids will think you’re just a little weird. Some think you’re really weird. But hey, we think they’re weird too, don’t we? Definitely, you and I are different from them…but I think it’s different for the better as opposed to anything else. So, enjoy the differentness while you can! J

There you have it, folks! Comment, and tell me what should have been included but wasn’t. And which one was your favorite. J

**Note: my own dear mother is complaining about how I’m making her sound like an ogre, so I figured I’d better specify – it’s not as bad as it sounds. Just about everything is exaggerated; it’s a caricature, so to speak, people! So, don’t judge my mom by this. J