Movie: Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug

My rating on a 1-10 scale: 9.5

Genre: Fantasy, adventure

Series or set: Hobbit

Number in series: 2^nd

Primary actors: Ian McKellen, Martin Freeman, Richard Armitage

Length: Two and a half hours or so

Based on: Technically, the original Hobbit book, with a bit pulled from LOTR

Time period: Fantasy

Rating: PG-13

Year it came out: 2013

My overall opinion: A good movie! At the time of writing this, I’ve seen it twice in the theater and will see it once more before it goes out. I liked it better the second time than the first, though I greatly enjoyed it both times! Now, here we go with what I thought of it and specific people/creatures/events/etc, in no particular order.

Be warned: spoilers are not in the least avoided! Indeed, they abound.

Bolg – Another primary orc dude to dislike, in addition to Azog who is making a return from the previous movie. And once again, he has quite a unique look about him – almost like there are bolts in his head, or at least, that was my first impression. While Azog was still the main immediately-visible villain, Bolg was also around quite often to do his dirty work for him. Decidedly despicable.

Gold – There was so much gold in this movie! Seriously. Either I haven’t heard, or I don’t remember how many gold coins were made for these scenes, but it was clearly a lot. The sheer vastness of the dragon’s lair was stunning…but I’ll come to that in a bit more detail later. Anyway. So there was all the gold in the dragon’s lair, and then down in the furnaces and all the gold that was supposed to bury said dragon was also an immense amount. Most impressive!

CGI – Like the vast amounts of gold, there were also vast amounts of CGI – albeit, very well done in my opinion. As my friend pointed out, however, part of the charm and enduring quality of the LOTR trilogy is the fact that so much of it is real, not digital. However, the CGI in this film was done nicely and didn’t detract from the story.

Dragon – One cannot write a review of this movie without a section for the dragon Smaug! He was impressive, and seemed quite accurate to the book, which I greatly appreciated. He seemed quite reasonable as far as dragons go. Certainly very large, very strong, but not impressively wise. So yeah, a good dragon!

Underground sets – There were two amazing locations that were underground in this movie – one being Thranduil’s palace with wood elves and the other, obviously, being within the Lonely Mountain. Let’s start with Thranduil’s. After I got used to the idea of elves living underground instead of just in trees (accurate to the book as it is!), I quite liked it. It managed to be underground, yet still spacious and truly beautiful. And light. Elegant curves, making it elvish. A lovely place to live. And then there’s the whole area under the Lonely Mountain. As you may know if you know me (or have read this blog for very long), I have rather a fascination with caves and underground scenes – the Mines of Moria is my hands-down-all-time favorite part in the LOTR trilogy. So going underground again here had me on the edge of my seat. The dragon’s lair is gigantic and awe-inspiring. And then the melting area…but that deserves it’s own section. Suffice to say that I have gained a very deep respect for the work of the dwarves and the area that they have created under there. I’d love to visit – after the dragon is gone and all is at peace.

Forge/furnace/melting place – This part was all so amazing. I was fascinated by how everything worked, and by watching the whole process. It’s quite an ingenious plan in the end, that whole thing with the statue, though how Thorin could’ve ever actually thought it would work is beyond me. Anyway, this was all definitely one of my favorite parts!

Sauron, orcs, and the ring – Because they all go together a lot. Sauron first. I’m not sure if he was ever named or not, but he was definitely there and a rather prominent part of this movie. He even takes on the eye form in a way. Some of that eye part was a little silly, I thought, but certainly very dramatic. Then there was the ring – already Bilbo feels often compelled to put it on and disappear, and experiences a weird world when he does. Played up a little from the book, but not an all bad change. And finally, the orcs. This was a big thing about this movie that I didn’t like – remember the scene where Gandalf goes to Dol Guldur to fight against the evil lurking there and meets Azog and co? At some point, as Gandalf is looking, he is told by the orcs that “we are legion.” There was a lot of darker content in parts of this movie, and that combined with the particular use of the word “legion” (which is pretty Biblical) felt like it was a very direct nod to satanic or demonic behavior. I’m all for a good-versus-evil battle, and think that probably some of this story does definitely correlate to the Bible. However, I really don’t like it when demonic type stuff is in the story, even when it’s clearly evil. SO I strongly disliked that.

Legolas – He’s back! Technically, it’s true, he’s not supposed to be but I think his appearance was more than worth it. It was great to see him again. He wasn’t a character who the audience got very attached to in this movie like he was in LOTR, and you never really got to know him – he spent most of his time doing awesome trick shooting. Speaking of which, I laughed when he stood on dwarf heads as they floated down the river and shot orcs – they all shot orcs. Epic. But yes! Legolas was back, up to amazing tricks once again.

Tauriel – Finally! A female elf who’s a fighter! She was a delight to watch. I did think that the whole thing with her and Kili was a little silly – I mean sure, he’s cute and awesome, but he’s a dwarf and she wouldn’t fall for him. Ever. But all in all, I thought she was awesome and her fighting skills are amazing!

Dwarves in barrels and spiders – The barrel scene was delightful, as I have suspected since the very beginning. While I didn’t absolutely fall in love with it, it was good and certainly enjoyable. And Bombur flying out of the river in his barrel, crashing down a hill, and killing many orcs? That was amazing. The spiders…definitely gross, but a good part of the movie.

Bard – We finally get to meet Bard here! He’s not bad looking, and seems like a nice enough man – I had to keep reminding myself that while he has his good points, he’s a bad guy in the final battle (although Thorin is too a little bit). But here Bard has a son and two daughters who we get quite attached to, and I’m curious to see how they paint him in the third movie.

Fire – Strange to say, the fire in this movie really stood out for me. Lol, it sounds weird – but I walked away thinking “There was so much fire!” Smaug was certainly very fond of it and used it often. Random point.

Nazgul beginnings stuff – To anyone not familiar with the Lord of the Rings movies, much of the fore-shadowing in this movie may go unnoticed and may even seem confusing. However, LOTR fans will be fascinated by the beginnings of the Nazgul. My only drawback is, of course, that this is not really in the book at all and technically shouldn’t have been included in this movie. Their burial place, where Gandalf and Radagast visited, was fascinating though!

Gandalf’s journeyings – I will be the first to admit that seeing where Gandalf went after leaving the hobbits was fascinating, and for the most part, it makes sense to have included it – time-wise, at least. Though I think much of it isn’t learned until LOTR in the books. But it was interesting, for sure, despite the made-up parts.

Peter Jackson’s cameo – Yup, there he was within the first few moments of the actual film, chomping down on another carrot in a distinct nod to Fellowship of the Ring! I was quite excited that I caught his cameo this time. :D

Book faithfulness – Well, as some other person said, about half of it is from the book and half of it is just made up and stuck in and added to make it more exciting. It was definitely exciting. And some of the improvements were indeed improvements – some I didn’t like as much.

Something missing – One thing that hit me really hard to not have was the awesome way that the dwarves are introduced to Beorn. Here they see him as a bear, and then get chased by orcs and all just kind of run into his house. Remember how in the book, they come in by twos following Gandalf’s instructions as he steadily spins a tale, except for Bombur who comes a little before he’s supposed to? It’s such a cool way to do it, and I really missed that here. I also noted that this movie entirely skipped the river with the water that they couldn’t touch (except Bombur touched it and fell asleep and they had to carry him a great distance).

So there you go – a complete run-down of my thoughts concerning Hobbit: Desolation of Smaug! Worth your time and money to see in the theater? Absolutely. I can’t wait to watch it again!

Want more Tolkien and Hobbit things? Check out my Tolkienesque Pinterest board!

Have you seen it? What did you think?

Movie: X-Men: The Last Stand

My rating on a 1-10 scale: 8

Genre: Superhero, adventure, fantasy

Series or set: X-Men

Number in series: I think it’s a conclusion. Except it’s not. But it is too. … It’s complicated.

Primary actors: Hugh Jackman, Ian McKellen, Halle Berry, James Marsden

Length: An hour and 3/4

Based on: the Marvel comics.

Time period: Future / present.

Rating: PG-13

Year it came out: 2006

My overall opinion: Enjoyable! I loved seeing Ian McKellen as something other than Gandalf – though he does totally amazingly wonderfully completely ace that particular row. But. He was really cool as Magneto. Even if he was a bad guy. As to everyone else…Hugh Jackman was amazing yet again. And this movie was pretty good if you like sci-fi/action types! I do. And I thoroughly enjoyed this one.

 

Movie: Return of the King

My rating on a 1-10 scale: 10

Genre: Fantasy, adventure, life, romance

Series or set: Lord of the Rings

Number in series: 3^rd

Primary actors: Basically the same ones I listed in my Two Towers review…so go there if you don’t know them automatically. :)

Length: About three and ½ hours

Based on: Return of the King by J. R. R. Tolkien

Time period: Fantasy

Year it came out: 2003

My overall opinion: Well, here it is folks! The third and final movie in the Lord of the Rings trilogy – and my favorite. And this will be the longest review yet, on account of my having precisely twice as many notes as for the other two – or combine my notes from the other two reviews, and you’ll have as many as I do for this one review. So, now that you’ve been fully warned, let’s go! And please – pull up the comment box at the bottom of this post even before you read so you can comment as you go. Because comments related to this have got to be one of the world’s awesomest things. Have fun!

Opening scene: Wow, is there anyone who realizes what this is and doesn’t think it’s totally freaky and disgusting and horrid and perfect for the opening scene? That heartbeat of poor Deagol…enough to give a girl goosebumps, and not of the pleasant kind. It’s down-right unnerving how much Smeagol looks like Gollum (I know, it makes sense) and also like Andy Serkis (I know, also makes sense). It’s still freaky.

Aragorn: Love him so much. I know some of you don’t agree here…but he’s awesome, though not perfect (see? I admitted it!). But yup, I love him in this film.

Pippin and the Palantir: Poor Pippin. If only he’d never even touched the Palantir to begin with! His life would have gone much differently if he had never encountered it.

Arwen’s vision: I love how she has a vision, for lack of a better way to describe it, of Aragorn as an old man with that little boy, who is a delightful and perfect mix of Aragorn and Arwen. And Aragorn looks so good with a little gray. It’s a great scene. {{And yes, this painting is a painting -- and I had SO much trouble finding one at all that a painting must suffice.}}

Anduril and Elrond: As you know, Anduril is Aragorn’s sword. Remember when Elrond brings the sword to him when he’s camped out with an army? Good scene. And great sword.

Quotes: There are SO many quotable awesome memorable quotes in this movie. I’m including a few farther on in this review, but encourage you to check IMDB for more.

Denethor: Ooooo…how I abhor this man. He’s SO awful. SOSOSOSO awful. I can’t stand him. He may actually be my least favorite character from the entire trilogy. Even more than Wormtongue and Sauron and Saruman. I mean, seriously. The way he acts towards Faramir? It’s enough to make anyone’s heart hurt. Such blatant favoritism towards Boromir is heart-rending. I always feel so sorry to Faramir…even back before I really decided I liked him. But Denethor? Anyone wanna join a hate-on-Denethor club?!?

The Winding Stairs: And Frodo and Sam journey up and up and up…all those dreadful stairs. Steep and treacherous – I wonder who built them? Anyone know? Anyway, that’s quite the journey, and the way that Gollum works to turn Frodo against Sam is sad.

Osgiliath take 1: The fall of Osgiliath to those frightful orcs. Ah, I feel so sorry for those guys who
fight for it, but quickly see that it’s a useless venture and retreat to safety, saving as many as possible. BUT! They return. We’ll come to that presently. But Osgiliath is quite an amazing location and there’s a couple of remarkable battles in/around it.

Beacon lights: Admit it, the beacon lights that are used to signal from Minas Tirith to Rohan are pretty cool. All across those high snowy mountains and all. I love watching that part every time, it’s so cool! And I love how Pippin climbs up to light the first one…and it takes him a minute to realize that he’s actually standing on the burning pile. :)

Riders of Rohan: They present an impressive display! So many of them and all mounted. Yeah, pretty awesome. And their arrival at Pelennor Fields is also impressive.

Pig Sponge: Or maybe Sponge Pig. Or maybe he has a real name, I’m not sure. But you know what Osgiliath orc I mean? He’s got a face that’s quite piggish and also remarkably similar to some sponges I’ve seen. On second thought...that side of his face might be more like rising bread dough. MOVING ON. But he’s brutal and ugly and despicable and oh so awful and you know what? I still hate Denethor even more. Which is saying something, because this guy is super creepy.

Gandalf’s Rescue: AAAHHHH! I love this scene – it’s such a clear portrayal of good shooing away the evil. You know the one – where Faramir and his fighters are retreating from Osgiliath and the orcs are being awful to them and the Black Riders are swooping overhead; all hope looks lost. But then, out of Minas Tirith comes Gandalf with a light radiating from his staff, scaring back all the Black Riders and saving Faramir & Co! Oh happy day. I love Gandalf there – he’s a savior!

Faramir’s Attack Back on Osgiliath and Pippin’s Song: I couldn’t think of a better way to sum it up. Oh my word, this has to be one of the most tear-jerking scenes in the entire trilogy. The way that Faramir and his riders go to Osgiliath…while back at home, Denethor is heartlessly eating tomatoes and chicken and making Pippin sing. UGH. Did I mention I hate Denethor? *sigh* He drives me nuts. And Faramir! So strong, so brave, so determined to prove himself. And you know he hasn’t got a chance – but he sure does give it his best shot. I like that guy. Then Pippin’s song is so sweet and good and he sings so sadly…it’s like oh-what-do-they-call-those-songs. I know there’s a word for it. The ones they sing as they go to their deaths. Because you just have a feeling deep within you as you watch that those guys are all going to die. So sad. And the horses run and the song is sung and the arrows fly…oh dear. I’d better move on before bringing myself to tears. First though, the scene itself...

 

I HATE DENETHOR.

Paths of the Dead: Off goes Aragorn to muster the Army of the Dead, and it’s a good thing too. Gimli has a great quote at the beginning of this scene, about an elf being more willing than a dwarf to go underground. Love it! Wow, what a massive cave it is under there! And with his sword, Anduril, Aragorn conquers the King of the Dead and brings them out. Hooray!

Eowyn riding with Merry: Ah, she is a wonderful girl! Out goes Eowyn with the Riders of Rohan. She’s so strong and determined to go along despite her father’s protests. And taking Merry with her! Of course, we know that it turns out she has a big part to play in the Battle of Pelennor Fields – so it’s a wonderful thing that she went along. And she fights so bravely! Yay Eowyn!

Head catapult: Can I say…disgusting? Rather brilliant if it’s your side doing the catapulting I suppose, but still so gross and really wrong, I think. I don’t like it. But it accomplishes their purpose. You remember, the catapulting of the heads of the brave men who rushed out to regain Osgiliath – to their detriment.

Peter Jackson’s kids: We hereby interrupt your regularly scheduled programming to say…I think they’re Peter Jackson’s kids? At any rate, I know I saw the same wide-eyed little darling in both the 1^st and 3^rd movies, and I feel like at some point I read that PJ’s kids were in all three of the movies. I’m assuming she’s one of them!

Black Riders: YES! Eowyn killed the bad guy! That makes me so happy every time…and the guys all enjoy the short view of pipes in the creature’s neck. ;) But it’s really wonderful when Eowyn whips off her helmet and says “I am no man.” Such an awesome part! And then, with Merry’s slight assistance, she kills him.

Rhinos and oliphaunts: What horrible beasts of war the enemies have! I’m quite sure that there were some way over-sized rhinos charging through, and of course the oliphaunts are also most impressive. Interesting to see how they’re taken down, especially by Eowyn (prior to her killing the Black Rider) and Legolas (awesome as usual).

Shelob’s Lair: Has to be one of the most disgusting parts in the entire movie. Seriously. All that spider-web? Yikes! And of course, Shelob herself – a ponderous and menacing body, legs, hissing, dripping venom, and eyes within eyes. Gollum/Smeagol betraying Sam and Frodo to her is quite terrible, though I can’t say I don’t understand why he did it. AND ALSO. That picture is scaring me half to death. So much freakiness.

Frodo and Sam: Frodo, naturally, gets himself caught and all wrapped up in a cocoon – oh my word, SO gross. I don’t like that part much. And then SAM TO THE RESCUE! You wouldn’t necessarily expect so much of Sam…but somehow he manages to enter the orc-filled tower past those utterly freaky watchers (those heads – occupied by evil spirits) and rescue Frodo – and save the ring through all of that. Yay for Sam! I really do almost like him here. :)

Faramir: isn’t dead after all, but alive! Oh, I’m so glad he didn’t get killed at Osgiliath and only his head returned. But here he comes back nearly dead, and what does Denethor do instead of checking him for signs of life? Pronounces that he’s going to BURN HIM and promptly begins to carry it out, intending to burn himself as well! I. Hate. Denethor. Poor Faramir. And he nearly is burned to death, and it’s only by Pippin’s speed that he’s saved! Pippin gets Gandalf, Gandalf comes, and even then if Pippin hadn’t jumped on the pyre, Faramir might have died! But Pippin jumps and saves him, and then of course, we have Denethor’s death (FINALLY!!!! *celebrates*). Very dramatic, quite horrible really, even for such a guy as himself. But Faramir has survived without too much harm! Oh happy day. {{Also, don't worry -- more better Faramir pix to come.}} Anyway, moving on…

Theoden’s Speech to the Riders of Rohan: I love it! Right before they ride into battle, you know. Here it is: “Forth, and fear no darkness! Arise! Arise, Riders of Theoden! Spears shall be shaken, shields shall be splintered! A sword day... a red day... ere the sun rises!”

Slow motion: Small interlude. There are proper places for an occasional slow motion moment in battles, sword-fights, etc. There’s one TV show (Legend of the Seeker) that has a ton of these – you don’t know how annoying they can get. I was extra thankful as I watched this that PJ didn’t use a whole bunch of those shots, because that can totally ruin a perfectly nice sword-fight. So…thank you, Peter Jackson!

Theoden’s death and Eowyn’s victories: Eowyn is awesome. And Theoden isn’t all bad. We already talked about this a bit earlier, but I’m so happy with how Eowyn killed the bad Black Rider and triumphed! And the horrible dinosaur monster thing dead too. Of course, Theoden’s death is quite sad, and Eowyn’s sorrow over it is easy to feel…there are sadder things in the movies, I think, but this was certainly a sad moment.

Arrival of the Dead: Hooray! I tell you, having the dead on your side in a battle like this is a definite plus – they are, after all, quite impossible to kill. I love it how Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli pull up apparently having piloted the boat up there all by themselves – they leap out and then a whole freaky army materializes behind them. It’s a wonderful thing! And of course, this army totally dominates everything.

Legolas and the Oliphaunt: I LOVE how Legolas kills his own oliphaunt. Vaulting, throwing, shooting – all perfectly coordinated, and all to the ultimate detriment of the oliphaunt and everyone on it. Love that part so much! And I also just love how Legolas and Gimli and still competing with each other over how many of the enemy have been killed. Those guys rock my world.

Frodo and Sam: They’re such cute little orcs as they travel along. As much as hobbits-pretending-to-be-orcs can be cute. They are.

Gimli’s quote: Because it HAS to be included: “Certainty of death. Small chance of success. What are we waiting for?” Oh Gimli…I love that guy. He’s hilarious.

Frodo and Sam again: And so they travel across that dreadful waste-land. And I’m once-again super glad I’m not with them.

Short interlude to say… Guess what? We’ve made it through page 1 of my notes! Just 2/3 page left. :)

Aragorn’s Speech before Morannon: IT’S SO AWESOME. He is an epic speech giver. For your reading pleasure…I reproduce it here. “I see in your eyes the same fear that would take the heart of me! A day may come when the courage of men fails! But it is not this day! A day may come when we forsake our friends and break all bonds of fellowship! But it is not this day! An hour of wolves and shattered shields when the age of men comes crashing down! But it is not this day! This day we fight! By all that you hold dear on this good earth, I bid you stand! Men of the West!”

Gimli: I love that he finally fights side by side with an elf. His quote with Legolas…and I merely reproduce from memory here, but… “I never thought I’d die fighting side by side with an elf.” Legolas: “How about side by side with a friend?” And then they’re friends. :)

Sam: And a quote from Sam, in which he is heroic and perhaps a little to epicly quotable to be believable… “I can’t carry it for you, but I can carry you!”

Aragorn, Pippin, Merry starting the battle: Okay, right here? We have Merry and Pippin at my favorite time. They all stand – the battle is about to begin. And then all of a sudden, Aragorn takes off charging and right on his heels are Merry and Pippin. And then everyone else. But I love that scene SO much.

Gollum: And he’s back. Everyone groans, but everyone knew he HAD to come back. He adds some amazing drama, I admit! But we musn’t jump too far ahead…

Eagles: They are so awesome! I have some friends who want dragons…I want a giant eagle. Of course, they play an important part a little further on when they rescue Frodo and Sam, but even during the battle they are clearly an asset to Aragorn’s side.


Frodo, the ring, Sam, and Gollum: And they keep struggling up Mount Doom. One thing I noticed?
The color contrast in this section is amazing. It flashes back and forth between inside Mount Doom (orange, red, yellow, bright, hot) and outside the Morannon (gray and drab). Pretty cool! Inside Mount Doom is really impressive, actually – how in the world did they build that, you wonder?

Sam again: And he saves Frodo yet again. After Gollum’s dramatic finger-biting, and Frodo’s equally dramatic fall off the cliff…Sam saves Frodo. Barely. But yay!

Sauron’s tower and the lava: And this is where you just sit and watch with your mouth gaping. Lava pouring out of the mountain and all over everything – such amazing effects! And Sauron’s tower totally caves in – the bit of slow motion is SO neat! It’s stunning how it falls. Another favorite part!

“I’m glad to be with you, Samwise Gamgee, here at the end of all things.”

Reminiscing: I love how Frodo and Sam sit there and talk about home and Rosie and food. It’s so sweet. And then! HOORAY! The eagles are here again! They are so much cooler than most dragons…just saying. But the eagles turn up and they are rescued and all seems well.

Reunion: I’m so glad that the movie doesn’t just end after the climax…that would’ve been awful. Instead, it keeps on going, for some of the other best parts! There’s a little of best parts in this trilogy. But the reunion is one of the absolute awesomest! Frodo wakes up and there’s Gandalf! And here he didn’t even know Gandalf was still alive! What a happy beginning. And then one by one the remaining members of the fellowship (all except Boromir) come in. And Aragorn smiles. That scene always makes my day. And Gimli and Legolas are so cute, and the hobbits are so talkative! It’s funny and sweet and so good.

Aragorn’s Kingship: At last, Aragorn is made king! While I confess that I prefer his looks when he has rather dirty hair, and a little blood here and there…which sounds really weird. ANYWAY. I don’t like his kingly looks as much, but he still rocks. Arwen appears…and at long last, the music culminates for their kiss. And they obviously live happily ever after! But before we’re done…another speech from Aragorn!

“This day does not belong to one man, but to all. Let us together rebuild this world that we may share in the days of peace.”

Faramir and Eowyn: I’m so glad they finally find happiness. I heard the other day that Peter Jackson
had actually filmed their wedding – but the footage isn’t released yet. Great sorrow and sadness! But they look happy in the three seconds you see them at the wedding. :) Also, check Austenitis' Facebook for more pictures of them being adorable together! I found a few through intense research. :)

Hobbits return: And they finally return home, wiser and older for their journeys. And is a big deal made of them? No indeedy. A pumpkin is clearly much more important to everyone except perhaps Rosie, who is giving Sam special looks. Ah, they are such a cute couple. :)

A wedding: And finally, here at the end, two weddings: Aragorn & Arwen, Sam & Rosie – for those girls who need a wedding in every movie. And besides, Sam and Rosie have some adorable children too! Actually, A&A do as well, if the son that Arwen sees in her vision is really one who they have.

Many partings: Here’s where it gets really sad. I can usually not cry…in fact, this time I didn’t cry at all – until this part. This and Boromir’s death are what always get me. But now! Bilbo, Frodo, Gandalf, Elrond, Galadriel, and Celeborn all board the ship to sail away. And poor Sam and Merry and Pippin! How they all hug Frodo and look so sad. Oh dear. Must move on before I cry. But I still love this scene – it’s a good ending.

Sam once more: Home he goes to his cute little wife and adorable little kids. So it ends on a happy note after all!

And the credit song: Into the West by Annie Lennox. I don’t love it, except for that fact that it’s in this movie. And I associate it strongly with crying. But what a great final song. I’d prefer one by Enya, but you know what? I like this.

Well folks. There you have it. My over-complete analysis of the third Lord of the Rings movie. I gave you fair warning that it would be long! Approximately 3095 words. THAT is a lot.

So, enjoy it? I hope you did. I had a blast writing it, even if it DID take forever. Please do leave a
comment, even if it’s just a few words! Comments make my day. :)

Thanks for reading!

 

Finally...for those of you who would like just another two minutes...a few deleted scenes. The first video has seven short scenes, each labeled clearly. The second video has better quality and more, but isn't labeled, so watch in order. See the notes on both for clarification.

 

 

Movie: Two Towers

My rating on a 1-10 scale: 9.5

Genre: Fantasy, adventure

Series or set: Lord of the Rings

Number in series: 2^nd

Primary actors: *deep breath* Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Orlando Bloom, John Rhys-Davies, Sean Astin, Cate Blanchett, Billy Boyd, Christopher Lee, Dominic Monaghan, Miranda Otto, Andy Serkis, and if you know who each of those (primary) actors plays…then you know LOTR well. :)

Length: About three hours

Based on: Two Towers by J. R. R. Tolkien

Time period: Fantasy

Year it came out: 2002

My overall opinion: I love these movies. Be warned: this is likely the shortest of the three reviews. At least, my notes made it the shortest. And be warned – the third review will almost certainly be the longest because this one has half as many notes as that.

For those of you who may just be getting in on this… I first watched this movie trilogy a little over two years ago. That was back when Austenitis was just getting started, and my reviews…well, let’s just say my original review for this movie is a little shorter than everything I’ve written here so far. :) SO I decided that since I’ve seen the movies many times since then, and love them so much…it’s time for a heavy-duty review. So here we go!

This movie is noticeably darker and sadder and heavier than the first film -- no scenes in Hobbiton! But despite that, it has some dark parts. With no more ado, let's begin my thoughts.

Wormtongue aka Grima: He is SO disgustingly horrible. Did you know (random fact time!) that they removed his eyebrows to make him more repulsive? It’s one of those things you won’t notice on your first time through, and maybe not even after that…I only noticed after reading it in a making-of book (The Rough Guide to Lord of the Rings). But he is a repulsive being if ever I saw one!

Eomer and the Riders of Rohan: Ah, such heroic men! I especially love how close Eomer is to his sister Eowyn. He’s a man to admire…and his riders are amazing fighters! A joy to watch, especially for any horse lover.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli – running: Watching these guys run tirelessly over mile after mile of terrain makes me feel tired every time. And no, I’m not at all athletic. But they do so much running and still manage to make it look easy! What an amazing team of guys. You know Gimli was lugging something like 70 pounds of armor in real life during those scenes? Yup. Quite a load!

Gollum aka Smeagol: Andy Serkis does an amazing job acting the part and using the voice of Gollum/Smeagol. And his dual personalities (especially clear in this film) are fascinatingly freaky! He’s even occasionally pitiable at times, quite a character. Of course, by the next film he’s utterly abhorrent but here he’s almost likable at times. Poor Gollum.

Treebeard and the Ents: Treebeard – what a neat guy. Tree. Whatever you want to call him. He has such a neat voice. (Random fact time again!) John Rhys-Davies, aka Gimli, does the voice for Treebeard. Cool or what? I always forget to remember that as I’m watching though. But anyway. Personally? I’d really rather never battle an ent. They can be killed, but more than that you don’t see too often. They can do a huge amount of damage if they decide to! Take the destruction of Isengard – absolutely a stunning sequence of scenes and events and of course, ents.

Dead Marshes: They’re such a freaky location with all the dead faces in the water! And the lights too, of course. I am so glad that Frodo, Sam, and Gollum didn’t spend any more time in that part of the land. The smell…you can practically smell it just watching on the screen. What a horrible place.

Gandalf’s Return/Fight with the balrog: Yay! It’s such a triumphant moment when Gandalf unexpectedly reappears! Or at least, it’s unexpected for anyone who hasn’t read the book or too many spoilers. But there he is back as Gandalf the White! It’s a lovely time. I also have greatly enjoyed all the footage of his fight with the balrog…a looooong fall, a huge pit of water (the size of that thing blows my mind each time), the fight on the pinnacle, and of course, the conquering of the balrog. At which point we get our best glimpse of its actual shape. So. Very. Cool.

Soundtrack: Ah, the soundtrack. It’s beautiful! Even the credits song, though I prefer Enya’s May It Be on the first movie. But overall, awesome music and I’ve so enjoyed it time after time.

The Morannon: Or the Black Gate, for those of with slightly less random knowledge. ;) That thing is g.i.g.a.n.t.i.c. and huge. And also apparently very effective for keeping people out (and in)! Watching it open is amazing…getting crushed in that would NOT be cool. Pretty neat!

Wormtongue and Eowyn: Disgusting. I hate how he tries to get her to like him because it really doesn’t work (thankfully). But the whole way he looks at her and all is just super disgusting and I abhor it.

Theoden’s resurrection: He’s almost dead. He’s as close to dead as a human can be without actually being dead. He doesn’t think for himself, is super weak, and in very bad condition. But! Gandalf saves him (and the day) by casting Saruman and Wormtongue out of Theoden! Victory! The change in him is wonderful.

Eowyn: For the first time, I realized that her teeth aren’t perfect. And I love that, because she has such an awesome personality that you probably didn’t realize this the first time you watched it. Eowyn is all around a lovely girl/woman. She’s so easy to identify with and I love her.

Aragorn and Eowyn: As Aragorn pointed out in one commentary, Eowyn almost would have been a better match for him. They have more mutual interests and activities, I think. It’s so easy to understand how Eowyn would fall for Aragorn – and the movie doesn’t do a great job (at least, in the unextended editions) with showing how she switched to Faramir. But while I think that Aragorn and Eowyn would have been an adorable couple, I’m happy with the other…

Aragorn and Arwen: It’s so obvious that they love each other. Think of all that Arwen gave up for him! I’m not going to discuss the ending scenes yet, but let it suffice to say that they make me very happy. And perhaps Arwen really is what Aragorn needs – someone to ground him a bit more, keep him at home, and worry about him from there.

Sam and Gollum and rabbits: You remember the scene – Sam is delighted to be cooking up some nice conies, and Gollum strongly protests them being cooked at all. It’s so cute! Well, maybe not cute, but certainly funny and a scene I enjoy rather a lot.

Oliphaunts: Those things are frightful, you know? I love how much Sam loves seeing them. And I really wish…correct me if I’m wrong, but didn’t he have a cute little poem about them in the book? I wish they’d found some way to incorporate that into the movie. I always liked it. But yeah, when these oliphaunts first come on screen, all you can say is “Wow.”

Faramir and co: Have I mentioned yet that I really fell for Faramir this time around? Aragorn remains my hands-down-forever-favorite, but Faramir…he’s awesome and amazing and great and so cool. I love that he ends up getting together with Eowyn in the end. I love how he handles his men. And he’s just plain pretty great…I’m so glad he gets an awesome girl. As to his role in the third movie…well, we’ll come to that in that review. Oh, and all his men in green are awesome as well – they always remind me of Robin Hood.

Warg battle: Did y’all see Legolas’ flip onto a horse at the beginning of this? I don’t specifically remember noting it before, but watched it twice this time to make up. ;) And wow – that flip is amazing. Super cool, I tell you! And then of course, there’s Aragorn’s big fall off a cliff with a warg…and for a bit, you’re sure there’s no way he survived. So sad! But then, a scene for all those horse-lovers…he recovers with his horse’s help! Okay, even I admit it’s pretty cool! :)

Legolas’ hand: Strange name for a paragraph, right? But something that has bugged me in several movies (and this trilogy several times) is that the hands never look quite real. Especially Frodo’s hand. Looking at my own, I think it’s maybe because it doesn’t have enough lines and creases. Anyway, Legolas’? I was especially impressed that it actually did look real. He had to hold Aragorn’s cloak clasp for a minute. And it looked real – I liked that.

Aragorn again: Because we can’t have too many paragraphs about this guy. His hair? All wet and mildly dirty? Yes, it sounds disgusting…but I like it. A lot. And then! The scene where he pushes open those huge double doors to Theoden’s chamber is AWESOME. He just stumbles into there. So neat. Ummm…I might be fangirling? Just for fun. ;)

Legolas in general: He’s awesome. Strong, athletic, and let’s admit it – handsome, especially by Haldir. Sorry Haldir! As you saw in my last review, I was trying in vain to figure out why his eyes are so blue in some scenes, and so brown in others. Thankfully, Kiri Liz explained all in a comment on my last review – apparently, Orlando Bloom had to wear blue contacts because he had brown eyes. But the contacts bothered his eyes, so he ended up going without them, and having his eyes digitally altered later – except there were a few scenes they neglected to alter. Interesting, isn’t it? So yes – your eyes see right. Sometimes they’re definitely brown, others definitely blue. And he rocks them both.

Legolas and Gimli’s competition: Before I get into all of Helm’s Deep, let me just mention that I way love the competition that Legolas and Gimli have going. Counting how many orc enemies killed? And comparing? Such a boy thing…and I love it. As previously stated, those two rock!

Helm’s Deep: And here we go! First of all, the explosion that took out that large chunk of wall was very impressive. Really impressive. It’s all around an amazing battle – did I hear that it was the largest filmed in movie history until the third movie came out with the Battle of Pelennor Fields? And did you know that those poor actors spent about two months being drenched and frozen every night to get that looking the way it looks. Amazing dedication. I love it when Legolas sleds down the stairs on a shield. I love it when Gimli and Aragorn get onto the bridge and start knocking off orcs left and right. Aragorn has to toss Gimli to get him there…remember the quote in the first movie about nobody tossing a dwarf? Here, Gimli lets himself be tossed with a precaution: “Don’t tell the elf.” And then Gandalf arrives! Oh joy. It’s a stunning arrival – the sun and all reminds me a bit of the trolls-to-stone scene in Hobbit: an Unexpected Journey. Yay Gandalf! That guy rocks.

Ents vs. Saruman: I’m so glad I’m not on Saruman’s side in that scene, because a battle against an ent? Not something I’m interesting in experiencing. It’s so simply smashing when they break the dam and let the river wash down and fill all the holes and put out the fires and take over everything. Yay ents! Great to have on your side in a war. There are some pretty amazing effects with that water!

Frodo and Sam’s friendship: I especially love it at the end, in those final scenes.

That’s it! Wow, I really thought this review would be shorter, but it wasn’t, despite a shorter list…well, brace yourselves for Review 3! It’ll be a REAL whopper. :)

Leave a comment! What are your thoughts on this movie? Is it your favorite? Which people should I have mentioned more? Did I happen to mention anything you didn’t notice before? Can’t wait to discuss this with y’all!

Note: I’ll reply to comments on Tuesday. :)